A clean break

Trials ended. It was these two simple words that managed to bring up our spirits a little. But, frankly speaking, I felt nothing when trials ended. I felt neutral. I expected myself to get all hyped up when I turn in my last answer sheet, but I was not.

Maybe it was because I knew my best wasn’t enough. Maybe I knew that PMR isn’t too far away. Maybe I knew what is the outcome of my effort. Maybe I wasn’t satisfied. Maybe I was over thinking. This list could go on and on.

But what is done is done. It’s easier said than done. It’s never easy to walk the talk. However, I reckon its time. It’s time to walk the talk. It’s time to accept my results and go on with life. It’s time to forget the fact that I changed my answers multiple times and got it wrong in the end. It’s also the time, for me, to be confident with my answers and to not over think. I won’t want this to occur during PMR for I know I’ll break down on the spot and be mad at myself for a long while.

I wanted time to fly by faster during trials. I was yearning for a clean break. A clean break from reality – from all the studying. I can finally bid my reference books a temporary goodbye. Nevertheless, the “ever disciplined” me made a deal with myself. I’ll only have a two-day break and I’ll go full swing on my studying. No play, play when PMR is exactly 60 days away.

The thought of sitting for PMR scares me every time. Who knew time could go by so fast? It was as if I entered Form 1 yesterday and PMR seemed extremely far away.

The ironic part of it is that I’ve thoroughly enjoyed myself throughout this year. The friends that I made, the laugh that we shared, the jokes that were created… I can’t go pass a day without laughing. We are all united; good times, bad times, we went through them together. They made my schooling days fun no matter what the circumstances were. I’m extremely grateful to call them friends (sometimes they are also known as the sisters I’ll never have) and I love them to bits. 2012 is definitely a year to remember. I never regret the moment I signed up to enroll at my current school.

One more hour till I’ll say hello to Saturday. Right now, it’s time for me to enjoy my clean break.